The Stern Dirty Dozen
The Gentlemen of SMIB (Stern Men In Business)
Issue date: 9/27/05 Section: Humor
"Super" Steve Byers
Since pre-term, Super Steve thought he was the coolest guy in high school again. Known for attending the gym more than classes, this semi pro tri-athlete makes the ladies go crazy when he takes his shirt off. But only the ladies cuz unless you're a hot female Sternie, good luck getting the time of day from this cat. Also affectionately known as "Barnacle" Steve, since he latches onto a woman and follows them everywhere like the crustations that attach to the bottom of a boat.
Faiyaz "Twinkle Toes" Ferdousi
Known for wearing more pink than the pink panther, this man will charm you with his edgy threads and seductive groin gyrations. Although this guy doesn't speak perfect English, his is very fluent in the language of love. His love lair at the Palladium awaits your arrival but make sure to bring your ID card. Beware of the unsolicited lap dance. This goes for the men as well.
Laurent "FCUSA" Jourdan
This guy can talk more game than Pepe-le-pew but unlike the skunk, he has results. An anonymous MBA2, who was still fuming after he left her, said, "picks up women like the French fight wars, he just rolls over and begs.
Victor "Happy Hands" Coto
We ask have you ever seen Coto, who is the largest holder of Visine stock, sober? An anonymous MBA2 female answered: "Sober? Who cares? Have you ever seen him not grab an ass at a club?" They may not have laws against it in Florida but that's illegal in New York son.
Matt "Clit-Clock" McClintock
Although we still can't believe someone from a Florida Vo-Tech school got into Stern, this Abercrombie wanna-be can't walk past a mirror without checking himself out. He is known for attracting Stage-5 Clingers, and at 6'5", he looks like a periscope scanning the room for prey during Beer Blast. Even though this guy is in business school, you'd think he was studying for his OB-GYN.
Rafael "Rufinol" Tejada
As a younger version of Ponch from ChiPs, he is known for breaking out the cuffs in heated moments. He will try to seduce you with his classic "Were experimenting" or "Wanna play doctor?" lines, but beware, he is known as Rufinol Tejada for a reason. The girls like him because he makes them feel a little dangerous...yet safe. If he gets your phone number be prepared for the random 3:30, 3:31, 3:32... drunken phone calls. After all, this kid is from El Salvador, a sunny place for shady people.
Since pre-term, Super Steve thought he was the coolest guy in high school again. Known for attending the gym more than classes, this semi pro tri-athlete makes the ladies go crazy when he takes his shirt off. But only the ladies cuz unless you're a hot female Sternie, good luck getting the time of day from this cat. Also affectionately known as "Barnacle" Steve, since he latches onto a woman and follows them everywhere like the crustations that attach to the bottom of a boat.
Faiyaz "Twinkle Toes" Ferdousi
Known for wearing more pink than the pink panther, this man will charm you with his edgy threads and seductive groin gyrations. Although this guy doesn't speak perfect English, his is very fluent in the language of love. His love lair at the Palladium awaits your arrival but make sure to bring your ID card. Beware of the unsolicited lap dance. This goes for the men as well.
Laurent "FCUSA" Jourdan
This guy can talk more game than Pepe-le-pew but unlike the skunk, he has results. An anonymous MBA2, who was still fuming after he left her, said, "picks up women like the French fight wars, he just rolls over and begs.
Victor "Happy Hands" Coto
We ask have you ever seen Coto, who is the largest holder of Visine stock, sober? An anonymous MBA2 female answered: "Sober? Who cares? Have you ever seen him not grab an ass at a club?" They may not have laws against it in Florida but that's illegal in New York son.
Matt "Clit-Clock" McClintock
Although we still can't believe someone from a Florida Vo-Tech school got into Stern, this Abercrombie wanna-be can't walk past a mirror without checking himself out. He is known for attracting Stage-5 Clingers, and at 6'5", he looks like a periscope scanning the room for prey during Beer Blast. Even though this guy is in business school, you'd think he was studying for his OB-GYN.
Rafael "Rufinol" Tejada
As a younger version of Ponch from ChiPs, he is known for breaking out the cuffs in heated moments. He will try to seduce you with his classic "Were experimenting" or "Wanna play doctor?" lines, but beware, he is known as Rufinol Tejada for a reason. The girls like him because he makes them feel a little dangerous...yet safe. If he gets your phone number be prepared for the random 3:30, 3:31, 3:32... drunken phone calls. After all, this kid is from El Salvador, a sunny place for shady people.