Mysterious Opp and Biz
Issue date: 10/11/05 Section: Humor
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MYSTERIOUS OPP
Hey hey, this is the infamous Mysterious OPP! What's up Sternies? Me, I'm swell!!! Before I start dishing out the dirt, I wanted to thank "Libby Libbons," for such an insightful email with the subject, "Burn em ladies!"
As a respectable gossip columnist for a reputable school newspaper, I truly appreciate your response to my article about a certain MBA1 vixen's "alleged sexual promiscuity." I am so inspired by your message to women at Stern to embrace their sexuality to the max... I totally stand behind you 100%, go girl! That means more love for all Sternies, and more juicy gossip for me. What an excellent example of win-win situation! Hey it's Fall - it's a perfect time to fall in lust, eh, love.
The Velvet Rope
Miss Sonali, Nagesh, and Ross celebrated their birthdays by throwing a big bash at a swanky rented loft two Saturdays ago (btw, Happy Birthday guys!) Apparently, it was such a cool party that the guests were made to form a line and wait outside a locked door for the "bouncer" to let them in... damn!
OPP gets OCD
MBA1s (and some MBA2s) - read my next story very carefully. I have given you valuable information on dating hot MBA2 girls. Now that the corporate presentations have started, I want to help you impress the recruiters so that you can get a kick-ass internship to help you finance your dates. Since OCD only gives you positive feedback for some odd reason, I want to tell you what NOT to do at these schmoozing sessions...
Lesson 1: Thou shall not talk about other companies on your target list at corporate presentations
Yes, even amongst your classmates. You may think that those recruiters are too busy to hear you, but what you may not realize is that your voice may be annoyingly high-pitched/loud/booming like that of a certain MBA2 that committed this offense at a recent corporate presentation. She shall remain nameless.
Lesson 2: Thou shall not leave in the middle of any event with corporate representatives - EVER
Hey hey, this is the infamous Mysterious OPP! What's up Sternies? Me, I'm swell!!! Before I start dishing out the dirt, I wanted to thank "Libby Libbons," for such an insightful email with the subject, "Burn em ladies!"
As a respectable gossip columnist for a reputable school newspaper, I truly appreciate your response to my article about a certain MBA1 vixen's "alleged sexual promiscuity." I am so inspired by your message to women at Stern to embrace their sexuality to the max... I totally stand behind you 100%, go girl! That means more love for all Sternies, and more juicy gossip for me. What an excellent example of win-win situation! Hey it's Fall - it's a perfect time to fall in lust, eh, love.
The Velvet Rope
Miss Sonali, Nagesh, and Ross celebrated their birthdays by throwing a big bash at a swanky rented loft two Saturdays ago (btw, Happy Birthday guys!) Apparently, it was such a cool party that the guests were made to form a line and wait outside a locked door for the "bouncer" to let them in... damn!
OPP gets OCD
MBA1s (and some MBA2s) - read my next story very carefully. I have given you valuable information on dating hot MBA2 girls. Now that the corporate presentations have started, I want to help you impress the recruiters so that you can get a kick-ass internship to help you finance your dates. Since OCD only gives you positive feedback for some odd reason, I want to tell you what NOT to do at these schmoozing sessions...
Lesson 1: Thou shall not talk about other companies on your target list at corporate presentations
Yes, even amongst your classmates. You may think that those recruiters are too busy to hear you, but what you may not realize is that your voice may be annoyingly high-pitched/loud/booming like that of a certain MBA2 that committed this offense at a recent corporate presentation. She shall remain nameless.
Lesson 2: Thou shall not leave in the middle of any event with corporate representatives - EVER