Making Accounting "Clear:" Gode Balances his Statements
Stern Opportunity
Issue date: 9/12/06 Section: Humor
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by Jed Rosenbaum, jr1671
How does he do it? On a frantic pace this year, Professor Dan Gode is looking to do the impossible - break his own record of 593 uses of the interrogatory phrase, "Is that clear?" in a semester-long class. Last year, in his section for Blocks 1 and 2, Gode shattered the previous record by an astounding 243 clarifications - boastfully acknowledging his accomplishment with two final uses of his signature phrase during the third hour of the class's final exam.
"I am excited for class this year," said the professor last Thursday night in the KMC Lobby, "but what happened to beer blast?" Accused in the past of schmoozing unsuspecting drunk students to learn class gossip about which he could later joke in class, Gode proclaimed, "This year Accounting will be clear to all my students…Except for the ones who did not complete all 75 chapters on my CD-ROM. They will be screwed."
Last year at the midway point, Professor Gode had used the phrase, "Is that clear?" 207 times. He picked up the pace, however, in the October 19th class, which featured a lively discussion of the drivers of relative multiples, during which he "clarified" 62 times in an hour and 12 minutes. The 62 was more than any professor has ever repeated any phrase in one class ever, nudging out Cape Cod Community College's, Profesora Johnson's 53 queries of "Como se dice?" in a 1999 Introductory Spanish class.
At the beginning of the class in question, it appeared that Gode would not break the elusive "60," as a string of tardy students, ending with Patricia Fainziliber, caused an indignant Gode to suffer the loss of 8 important class minutes. Detractors, however, suggested that the students' late arrival was the very reason for the record-breaking score, as 14 clarifications came while the professor was making and re-making clear his stance on tardiness.
First-year Consortium representative, Geraldo Paris, said, "I used to say the word, 'friggin,' a lot. Is it like that? It was good for when my brain couldn't keep up with the point I was trying to make." What MBA1s have yet to realize is that Professor Gode's increased mylination of neural networks in the brain, perhaps correlated to an enlarged dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, forces the use of phrases like "Is that clear?" to allow those around him to keep up with his thought processes. According to Dr. Jane Viner at Massachusetts General Hospital, this conditioned response can "overheat at times," such as during an astounding display of 4 "Is that clear?"s and one "Is this clear?" in just 10 seconds by Professor Gode on December 7th, a performance that left the class awestruck and slightly terrified.
Nevertheless, 593 clarifications will be a tough score to beat, even for the optimistic Gode. He will have to average over 26 clarifications per class session. "Anything is possible here at Stern," said second-year student and Oppy editor, John Day, "I chased tail all summer in Brazil and convinced OCD it was an internship."
In last year's class, Gode's second most commonly used exclamation was "Correct!" used 114 times, with a semester-high of 26 times during the Final Exam Review Session.
Free advice to MBA1s: Do whatever it takes to make it look like you are paying attention and taking notes, even if it means keeping a tally of the number of times a professor says something funny.
How does he do it? On a frantic pace this year, Professor Dan Gode is looking to do the impossible - break his own record of 593 uses of the interrogatory phrase, "Is that clear?" in a semester-long class. Last year, in his section for Blocks 1 and 2, Gode shattered the previous record by an astounding 243 clarifications - boastfully acknowledging his accomplishment with two final uses of his signature phrase during the third hour of the class's final exam.
"I am excited for class this year," said the professor last Thursday night in the KMC Lobby, "but what happened to beer blast?" Accused in the past of schmoozing unsuspecting drunk students to learn class gossip about which he could later joke in class, Gode proclaimed, "This year Accounting will be clear to all my students…Except for the ones who did not complete all 75 chapters on my CD-ROM. They will be screwed."
Last year at the midway point, Professor Gode had used the phrase, "Is that clear?" 207 times. He picked up the pace, however, in the October 19th class, which featured a lively discussion of the drivers of relative multiples, during which he "clarified" 62 times in an hour and 12 minutes. The 62 was more than any professor has ever repeated any phrase in one class ever, nudging out Cape Cod Community College's, Profesora Johnson's 53 queries of "Como se dice?" in a 1999 Introductory Spanish class.
At the beginning of the class in question, it appeared that Gode would not break the elusive "60," as a string of tardy students, ending with Patricia Fainziliber, caused an indignant Gode to suffer the loss of 8 important class minutes. Detractors, however, suggested that the students' late arrival was the very reason for the record-breaking score, as 14 clarifications came while the professor was making and re-making clear his stance on tardiness.
First-year Consortium representative, Geraldo Paris, said, "I used to say the word, 'friggin,' a lot. Is it like that? It was good for when my brain couldn't keep up with the point I was trying to make." What MBA1s have yet to realize is that Professor Gode's increased mylination of neural networks in the brain, perhaps correlated to an enlarged dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, forces the use of phrases like "Is that clear?" to allow those around him to keep up with his thought processes. According to Dr. Jane Viner at Massachusetts General Hospital, this conditioned response can "overheat at times," such as during an astounding display of 4 "Is that clear?"s and one "Is this clear?" in just 10 seconds by Professor Gode on December 7th, a performance that left the class awestruck and slightly terrified.
Nevertheless, 593 clarifications will be a tough score to beat, even for the optimistic Gode. He will have to average over 26 clarifications per class session. "Anything is possible here at Stern," said second-year student and Oppy editor, John Day, "I chased tail all summer in Brazil and convinced OCD it was an internship."
In last year's class, Gode's second most commonly used exclamation was "Correct!" used 114 times, with a semester-high of 26 times during the Final Exam Review Session.
Free advice to MBA1s: Do whatever it takes to make it look like you are paying attention and taking notes, even if it means keeping a tally of the number of times a professor says something funny.
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