Bad Advice - Round 2!
Jocelyn Splitter
Issue date: 2/12/08 Section: Humor
Hey folks…did I say 4 boys? I meant one - maybe. (Darn you - oppy curse!)….
In other news, lately, I've noticed a lot of "OMG I'm graduating soon" faces round school. Or is that just the mirror I constantly gaze into? Anyway - this means lots of self-analysis - something I adore (I wish I could have it as a specialization, but is 5 too many?) - and lots of people asking my advice! As a reminder, I give terrible advice and cannot help you. Ever. But it's fun to play right? Let's see what peeps are asking me now (most likely via passed note…man I'm gonna miss school):
Should I propose to my girlfriend or buy a house?
Hey man…it's staring you in the face: propose with the house. It will be great…trust me. There you are, sitting at some beautiful restaurant or in the country or wherever people do this stuff these days (hot air balloons?), and you get down on one knee, take her hand in yours and say… "Dear sweet girlfriend whom I adore, will you spend the rest of your life with me and take on a 30 year mortgage for this starter condo with stainless steel appliances and an easy walk to the soon-to-be built 2nd Avenue subway line? Here's a picture."
"Yes, yes! A thousand times yes!"
In all seriousness, why is a ring needed? My mother didn't have an engagement ring because she and my dad were, oh how can I put it, what do you call it, um, "broke". I honestly expected the last bf, after we had been living together and dating forever, to propose to me with something awesome like a Wii or a Playstation. (OK, bad example)…but seriously…hypothetical husband of the future - I don't need a ring…I'd be psyched if you proposed with a puppy or a gift certificate to Anthropologie…thanks!
I'm hotter than that guy right?
Totally. You're really frickin' hot. Wait, what guy? I can't tell. I only start noticing the guys at school when they're in their post-"I got an offer"-phase and stop shaving and start dressing like the unemployed awkward musicians I'm attracted to. I love when that season comes around. But yeah, you're totally hotter than that guy. Duh.
In other news, lately, I've noticed a lot of "OMG I'm graduating soon" faces round school. Or is that just the mirror I constantly gaze into? Anyway - this means lots of self-analysis - something I adore (I wish I could have it as a specialization, but is 5 too many?) - and lots of people asking my advice! As a reminder, I give terrible advice and cannot help you. Ever. But it's fun to play right? Let's see what peeps are asking me now (most likely via passed note…man I'm gonna miss school):
Should I propose to my girlfriend or buy a house?
Hey man…it's staring you in the face: propose with the house. It will be great…trust me. There you are, sitting at some beautiful restaurant or in the country or wherever people do this stuff these days (hot air balloons?), and you get down on one knee, take her hand in yours and say… "Dear sweet girlfriend whom I adore, will you spend the rest of your life with me and take on a 30 year mortgage for this starter condo with stainless steel appliances and an easy walk to the soon-to-be built 2nd Avenue subway line? Here's a picture."
"Yes, yes! A thousand times yes!"
In all seriousness, why is a ring needed? My mother didn't have an engagement ring because she and my dad were, oh how can I put it, what do you call it, um, "broke". I honestly expected the last bf, after we had been living together and dating forever, to propose to me with something awesome like a Wii or a Playstation. (OK, bad example)…but seriously…hypothetical husband of the future - I don't need a ring…I'd be psyched if you proposed with a puppy or a gift certificate to Anthropologie…thanks!
I'm hotter than that guy right?
Totally. You're really frickin' hot. Wait, what guy? I can't tell. I only start noticing the guys at school when they're in their post-"I got an offer"-phase and stop shaving and start dressing like the unemployed awkward musicians I'm attracted to. I love when that season comes around. But yeah, you're totally hotter than that guy. Duh.
Be the first to comment on this story