The Stern Opportunity

Thanksgiving is a piece of cake. Stay home, get together with your closest family and friends, eat a ton of turkey and as you're entering a good coma - give thanks for the people in your life. Valentine's Day, on the other hand, generally strikes fear into the heart of all men - and leaves women feeling lonely or under appreciated. Why is there so much animosity generated by this day? For one, there's backlash against the retail commercialization. Men are estimated to spend twice as much as women on the day, and it's reported that over 1 billion greeting cards are sent, second only to Christmas. But the holiday was not a fabrication of Hallmark's, Victoria's Secret or Hershey's.

The earliest records of V Day can be traced back to ancient Greek and Roman festivals honoring the love of the gods. Pope Gelasius made it official in 496 AD and it's speculated that Chaucer was the first to popularize the day as a celebration of romantic love. After that, everyone has had something to say about it - from Shakespeare to the new, quite terrible looking movie that shares it's name. One of my favorite blogs, The Fug Girls, tweeted appropriately "Jessica Alba AND Biel - this movie looks SO SO SO awful."

John Mayer (For those of you who don't know me well, I have a bit of a crush, embarrassing I know) has a song entitled Friends, Lovers or Nothing - on his newest album Battle Studies. And in honor of that - here are some suggestions for making the most of one of the most hated days of the year no matter what your situation.

Friends
Remember back to elementary school? When Valentine's Day was an awesome fun fest of candy hearts? When picking out which Superhero or Disney Princess valentines to give to your classmates was the hardest decision you faced in life? It was always one of my favorite days of school.

Relive this childhood tradition as an adult by planning a party for your best buds a la Julie and Paul Child. (Paper Heart Pins for everyone!) Wear American Apparel's sheer heart print tights friends, serve Baked by Melissa Mini Cupcakes and give TMNT Valentines.

I don't think SCORP has organized any formal Candygram programs organized- but my high school definitely did. The fact that we all actually have lockers (for hopefully the last time in our lives) opens up a lot of fun secret valentine giving opportunities!

Lovers
Now, most times we know if we're in a serious relationship - but Valentine's Day can present problems in this department if there's any grey area. Guys: If you're not sure if you're going steady but you've been going out with a girl for awhile, and you're technically more than friends, you should know that she's expecting you to do something on February 14th. Even if she says "she hates Valentine's Day" and "chocolates and roses are tacky" it doesn't mean you're off the hook. She's hated the day in the past because other guys she's dated have not been as cool as you. Heart Shaped Boxes of chocolates and Red Roses ARE tacky and basically - she wants you to think of a more unique and fun way to show her how much you care about her. If she's a cool girl she's probably planning to do something for you too - so get your you know what in gear. Everyone needs to eat, thus I think that's a good place to start.

Unfortunately, dining out on V Day is a nightmare, if you don't have a reservation at this point - chances are you're not getting one. But luckily - no reservations policies exist as the great equalizer. If you're in charge of plans, it makes you seem spontaneous and non-traditional.

Two of my favorite romantic restaurants fall into this category - Mary's Fishcamp and Lil Frankies. The first is an ideal choice because of the cozy, raucous ambiance, open kitchen and huge windows looking out on sexy west village streets. (And what could say LOVE more than a lobster roll.) The second, Lil Frankies, is darker and a bit grittier, a maze of separate little dining spaces. Ask about the secret robiola cheese pizza (not on the menu). Wear a plaid shirt and lots of black eyeliner (just the girls unless you're The Killers front man). Put your name on either list in the late afternoon and grab a drink nearby til your table is up.

Something else I've always thought would be fun and not too serious would be to return to the scene of the crime (that would be either where you first met, your first kiss - or both depending on the situation!) Think dive bars, shots of patron, and kissing on random New York City streets.

Lastly, on the subject of gifts, flowers and candy - all are welcome if they're not from the Bodega, Zales or CVS. Put some thought into it. The best thing would probably be to put pen to paper and say a few things you've been holding back. Vosge's Bacon Chocolate Bar or tickets to see a concert or show are also good ideas. Bonus points for the New York City Ballet.

Nothing
While I find it hard to believe you've got no one to get together with on this lovely Sunday - I see nothing wrong with spending it on your own and doing whatever makes YOU happy. Shopping, strolling Soho, getting a manicure, visiting puppies at the puppy store, ordering in fried chicken, watching re-runs of Dawson's Creek, etc etc. Instead of lamenting being single - celebrate that you're not with the wrong person.

Whatever you do - forget the commercialization of the day, and return to the basic idea of celebrating and professing the love in your life - maybe then we can all learn to love Valentine's Day again.

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