The Stern Opportunity

A cramped room at Japas 38 singing karaoke, bottle service at Pink Elephant, and the cigar room at Del Frisco's -for many people these are not the scenes of a great birthday with close friends in New York City, but rather the locations where people indulge with none other than their coworkers. An overwhelming number of young professionals in New York have ditched the age-old notion and stigma related to spending time with coworkers after eight hours in the office together, which was based on the idea that coworkers couldn't be your "real' friends. While the majority of us are young professionals, where our social lives are just as important as our careers, it's easy for an innocent happy hour to turn into an all-night extravaganza at a swanky nightclub. In fact, in my experience some of the most fabulous wining and dining experiences that I have had since I started working have been with my coworkers. Granted that I worked in what is considered an industry obsessed with conspicuous consumption, investment banking, where bankers flaunted their wealth. Upscale and trendy was the name of the game when it came to after-work venues (I realize that I lived three years of my life in a warped reality). But when you take the dazzle of the ambience at Tao and the colors of the cocktails at Flatiron Lounge away, you are fundamentally left with the company of your coworkers. Today it seems as though we are more prone to co-mingle the two sides of our lives. Our workplaces are almost a second home to us, and our colleagues are like friends and family.

I attribute the shift in this perspective to the mass adoption of new technologies, e.g. iPhone apps, including Foursquare and Loopt, BBM and Twitter (just to name a few) that keep us connected to our work life 24/7. It could also be that the millennial and Gen Y folks view the workplace as more informal than our parents did. After all, people often feel closer to their coworkers than they do to a lot of their friends and have the same personality traits, tastes and common interests, which encourages social activity beyond the water cooler.

While socializing with coworkers is fairly commonplace, there are those that find it intolerable. The need to be professional causes some to submerge their true personalities and present a more bland image at work. However, it was through informal socializing that I found out that my Vice President was a certified SCUBA diver and loved to hike. I was able to share my hiking adventures as a result. I would not have known these factoids had it not been for after-work events. Job stress and pressure can bring bad parts of people's personalities to the surface so people think they would have to deal with this during after-work socializing as well; this is certainly a reason that some people avoid socializing with colleagues like the plague. But by not attending, these people are labeled as aloof and anti-social. Coworkers could feel snubbed, leading to tainted work relationships. Do yourself a favor and accept invitations to socialize with your coworkers at least once a month. At the very least, you are bound to get an embarrassing story or secret out of the experience.

While there is a certain familiarity and standard expectation with heading to happy hour after work, this practice can get old fast, especially if there are some dry folks in the crowd. Consider attending live music events, participating in sports teams and corporate leagues and volunteering for charitable causes together as alternatives. It could take the monotony out of the obligatory happy hour and still allow you to share a social experience with your coworkers. You spend eight hours a day, forty hours a week, two thousand hours a year at work (and possibly more than that). It would be miserable not to form some casual workplace friendships that could be cultivated outside the office. You might surprise yourself and share some great times with them, and in the process, make new friends and expand your social network.

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